I've got to confess...

I'm going to be honest with you. 

This mornings I woke up feeling all..

Ready to conquer the day! 
And than I found out that my crush has a girlfriend. 
He could have been the one! (joking)

My life has been a little overwhelming.
I don't seem to have enough time to do everything I want to.
I mean, ... 

That adequately describes how I feel I think.
My future is, well... not clear.
All I know is what I want to achieve this year. 

1. Be Healthy 
(Usually, I fail at this.)
Last year went like this.. 

But, I'm determined this year.
Might have to give up somethings. 

2. To Graduate.
(and possibly get into a degree program)
To finally get to walk across a stage ... 

3. To remain calm.
God has everything under control.
To learn to let go of the things that just don't work out. 

4. To completely love God.
In all that I do, may it be to bring honour to him. 

Gotta run.
I'm late for work ... (Yikes!)



Pretty In Pink | Beauty

“A girl should be two things: classy and fabulous.”
― Coco Chanel

Skirt: Old Navy
Sweater: Reitmans
Shoes: Le Chateau 

There is beauty in all things. Even in the ugliest of things, if you look just hard enough, there is beauty hidden in there somewhere. Keep looking. Don't let the ugly of the world change your perspective of your life. There is beauty hidden in there. Deep down, in the crevices of the situation. Some new form of life is being formed. Because, there is beauty somewhere in there. Even when the horizon is filled with dark clouds and pouring rain, there will come a moment where the rain must cease and the sun must peak through the clouds. And if you've turned your head or lowered your face into your hands, you'll miss it. The beauty that comes right after a great big thunderstorm. A promise will appear, waves of color from one end to another, as far as you can see. But if you're too busy looking at the darkness of the clouds, or have run inside for some shelter, you'll miss the beauty. The beauty peaking through the clouds. It might not be easy to stand in the rain, it might bring on sickness, fever and a cold, but that's nothing a coat and umbrella can't fix. If you just believe, with all of your heart, there is beauty somewhere in the corner of that situation. 

There is beauty in all things. Even in the hardest moments of your life, if you just look hard enough, there is beauty in there somewhere. Stay strong. Don't let the heartbreak build walls around your heart, life isn't about safety, but about the adventures you're willing to take. Behind that curtain that you've put up so nobody can hurt you again, there is a someone looking for a person just like you. They are ready to bulldoze through those walls, but if you're hiding behind the curtain, you won't see them working hard to make their way to you. There is beauty in this heartbreak, that will form you to be a better lover and friend. Where something has been burned down, there is something ready to grow. There is beauty in there somewhere, in the deepness of your pain, something beautiful is about to spring up. Like a flower in the spring. Ready to show it's beautiful petals after being covered in snow. Because there is beauty in all things.

And even if you can't see it, I see you. And you are as beautiful as that flower. And if you'll hold on for a little while, stay strong for a bit longer, you'll be the beauty in the midst of the ugly. Because no matter what you go through, if you don't let it ruin you but change you into exactly who you want to be, than every ugly thing has served a beautiful purpose. To make a beautiful you. And believe me, just like that flower, you are beautiful. And one day you'll be that beautiful thing, that someone holds on to when they believe that there is beauty in all things.


The Broken Road

It's incredibly hard to live in a world surrounded by married people... when you're single. Nobody understand you unless they too are single. I can imagine all the eye rolls and audible sighs that all the married people just let out. This is N-O-T a posting about how much I H-A-T-E being single or how L-O-N-E-L-Y I appear to be. This is about the path I am currently on, and how I've come to appreciate it.

A couple years ago, I cried myself to sleep because the loneliness consumed me. I didn't know what else to do. Every person has different advice.. "wait on the Lord, he will provide." "Lose a little bit of weight!" "Enjoy being single, cause when you're married you can't do anything!" "Stop being so picky" "Have you prayed about it?" "Keep the faith!" "You're still so young" and the worst one.. "You just need to put yourself out there!"


I have realized one thing and that is that I can't force time to move quicker. That I can't change who I am in a day and that if I am not happy with me, that I won't be happy with him. That I am N-O-T incomplete. I am thankful for this road I'm on, because it's allowed me to grow -- grow in knowledge, in strength, in love, and into my own skin. I appreciate my little quirks and imperfections more than I did when I was 18. I have a committment to being the best I can be, not to impress, but to make this world a much better place. And even with all the bumps on the road disguised as a broken heart, or the cracks on the pavement that holds the memories of past loves .. or the winding road that made me dizzy with fear of failure .. there has always been the reflection of the setting sun, where I remembered my deepest dreams; the spontaneous trips that led to self discovery or the straight and narrow path that has been perfecting my attitudes and perspectives... I am thankful for this broken road. I am thankful for the nightly roadtrips from one place to another, where I felt like I couldn't hold on any longer. Where my eyeslids felt heavy from the tears that I'd cry. I am thankful for the road that was only lit by the light of the moon, because it always held the promise of the rising sun-- the promise of something new. I am thankful for the view  on the side of the road of the fields covered in early morning dew, the rays of the sun making it hard to see, whispering that it was a brand new start. I am thankful for this road, because it's leading me straight to him.




"Sometimes people are beautiful.
Not in looks.
Not in what they say.
Just in what they are.”

― Markus Zusak

Skirt: Thrifted
Blouse: Winners
Shoes: Payless
 I started juicing this week. I was so nervous to start because I thought it was going to be disgusting. To my very pleasant surprise it's actually really yummy. I like it. I've been trying to hop back on the "healthy" lifestyle bandwagon and I felt like trying something new. I recommend it to anyone.Don't be scared of the spinach. You can barely taste it.

I'm about to finish my second semester as a human resources student. It's been pretty interesting. I can't wait until I can fire someone... kidding. #sorrynotsorry

I recently went on a small vacation to this beautiful place called Muskoka. (See A Latte of Us for a full story with pictures) It was actually so beautiful up there. We didn't want to come home. And-- I got a small tan. It's really light on my legs you can barely tell its there.. unless you look closely. But my face and arms got darker than they were. So, I'm not as pale as I am in these pictures.

My keyboard is being really weird and isn't letting me press enter...                                                                                                   oh... there we go..

Anyways, I'm heading to zumba at 7:30 pm. I haven't zumba'd in ... over two months! *gaaasssspp
I am such advocate for zumba if you just wanna have some fun while getting some exercise. It's fun. Do it on your in between days. Don't worry -- you're not gunna be the only rhythmically challenged person there.



Waiting on Mr. Imperfect

Skirt: Ricki's
Vest: Old Navy
Shirt: Sears
Shoes: Payless

Dear    ...,

I wrote you a letter many years ago... describing to you the amount of pain that I was in. I wrote you that letter because I wanted to say goodbye but I didn't have the courage to do so at the time. As I was cleaning my room a few days ago, I found the letter at the very bottom of a box; underneath all the notes my best friends and I had passed between each other many years ago.

The letter was so articulate, so specific. As I continued to read sentence after sentence I began to remember the day that I wrote that letter. I was confused. T O R N between doing what I knew I should do, and doing what my heart wanted to do. I wrote you that I didn't really know how to describe my feelings for you. That every time you said, "I love you" ... I didn't believe you. How could I? Your actions always spoke more than your words. 

For some reason, I wrote that letter as if I was a victim of your deceit, lies and selfish behavior. Maybe I was, but I always knew better. I always knew I could just.. stop. Stop answering your phone calls and text messages. I was free to do whatever I wanted. But I thought I owed you an explanation about why marriage wasn't an option, being with you was an insane illusion. As I read the letter, I told you that I'd never felt that way before and that I was terrified that I never would. That I'd never cried over a boy and that I now understood why breaking up with someone was so hard. I'm not writing you this letter, a letter you'll never receive, because I want you to know that I've held onto something of "yours" for this long. I've learned a very valuable lesson. 

Trust is a very fragile thing. Happiness is a very fragile thing. Friendship is a very a fragile thing. Love is a very fragile thing. It takes so long to construct any of these things between yourself and another person and a few seconds to destroy it all. I know the exact moment I knew I didn't want to be with you anymore. The exact thought. The exact words you spoke. 

I was 'broken' for a long time. Wishing someone else would come along to take the place that felt so empty. I'm still waiting.  People always tell me that Mr. Perfect isn't coming. And that I'm too picky, too this or too that. But I believe. I believe that he is coming. For a long time, I thought that I would never feel those intense feelings again, that I'd be alone forever. Who's going to like me like you did? Truth is, you didn't like me. You liked who you thought I was, who I had portrayed myself to be. But as I've grown older and maybe just a little bit wiser... I believe that Mr. Imperfect is coming. And he will be perfect for me. So, I'll continue to wait..Patiently, sometimes not so patiently.

I finished my secret letter to you with these words, "I love you today but tomorrow I won't."
I suppose those words are as true as they were on that day...  but today I'll end with these simple words. Thank you for teaching me what kind of person I DESERVE in my life. That love is a fragile, beautiful thing. Not everyone is lucky enough to experience it. And when it happens to me ... I'll make sure it's a today, tomorrow and forever thing.



Pretty sure I need a tan.


There are several things about these pictures that make me super uncomfortable. 1) I'm such an awkward "model" and my photographer knows it. 2) I'm pale white. Why am I pale white? Well... we can say that it's my father fault. I tan pretty easy during the summer but since I don't spend a whole lot of time outside-- I'm still pretty pale. Ghostly pale. Pretty sure I need a tan.

This morning I woke up to write a small quiz. I tread this every week. I just don't understand any of the concepts in this class. Macroeconomics. Who needs that? I do-- well at least if I wanna graduate by December. 

It's Canada day today! So-- it's a holiday. It's the most confusing holiday ever though. Usually it lands on the Monday but this year it landed on a Tuesday. Which was annoying because I was super tired yesterday from the weekend but couldn't sleep in. And today we were going to go to the beach but that has been postponed due to "thunderstorm watch" .

I'm going back to the gym tomorrow after a month long hiatus. I'm dreading it. I'm pretty sure I'm going to be sore all over again. I had just gotten to the point where the soreness had reduced drastically and it was awesome. But lets be honest here, I've gained four lbs since I stopped going. This month has been the month of the munch. I've had the munchies everyday. I mean.. chocolate, ice cream, ice cream, ice cream, cake, chocolate and ice cream. <--- no bueno!

Shall we talk about the outfit? Yeah, why not! The skirt is a wal mart skirt and I was super hesitant about buying it. It's a very fitted skirt... and originally I wanted to wear it with a white blazer. But I didn't have one at the time (I bought one this past weekend. Yay me!) and so I had to work with what I had. The skirt got a lot of compliments but its def something I will feel more comfortable in once I've lost a couple more lbs.


A small update + Goal Skirts

I have about 6 skirts that I like to call 'Goal Skirts"
I have made it my goal to lose enough weight so they will fit comfortably.
This is skirt number one.
I am down 15 lbs and about 7 inches around my body.
Hip hip Hooray!
Have you ever had a day where nothing is working and your hair is being incredibly stubborn and you give up? 
This was one of those days ..SO, I decided to the simplest thing I could think of.
It turned out well, I will not deny. 
Also, you can see the blue polka dots on my shirt in this picture.
(Which is explains the blue shoes) 

Love & Blessings,

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